Dr Balmiki Kumar finds his dream wife

Dr Balmiki Kumar BDS 58 presently not working Born 271989 650 am Bhagalpur Bihar Caste Brahmin Gothra Bhardwaj I want any very fair beautiful very loyal very trustworthy loving caring brave powerful rich EXTREMELY PATRIOTIC TO INDIA WITH A KEEN DESIRE TO INCREASE INDIAS MILITARY AND SPORTS CAPABILITIES an extremist but compassionate an expert in childraising and excellent cook Indian Hindu Brahmin working girl from Jharkhand or Bihar Sampurna Kundali Milan and 36 Gunas Matching Must Matrimonial ad published November 2021One year laterMy brand new Nike Zoom Vaporfly running shoes were missing AgainAnd my darling wife Bhoomiputri had been out all night AgainUnless she came back soon and made her legendary breakfast chana ghugni for me this day was going to start without my usual 10 km crosscountry run plus on an empty stomachMarried life had been bliss so far She was everything I had dreamed of and more But of late her behaviour had been deeply disturbing Inexplicable late nights long phone calls latenight texting and a certain gleam in her eyesAnd what was it with her and shoesThree weeks ago it had been my Adidas PureBoost polyester sneakers After turning the house upside down I had looked under our bed which brought back such steamy memories Id found two Swedishmade portable RBS70 laserguided missile launchers and her own bathroom slippers but no shoesI finally found them in her closet I also discovered six Kalashnikov assault rifles behind her Paithani saris Further south buried under a pile of belts and boots were several ABCM25A2 riot control hand grenadesDont misunderstand me I still loved my Boom beyond words Thats what I call her when were cuddled in bed together Foursyllable names are moodkillers and a woman so fair and beautiful not to mention loving and caring deserves something more well tender Sometimes I call her Boom Baby which she adores The family calls her Boom BhabhiIt had been a magical year Booms father had responded to my matrimonial ad with a singlepage natal chart of his only daughter One look at it and I knew my long wait was over All 36 gunas matched There was Sampurna Kundali MilanThen I saw her photograph and my heart was lost forever Hers were the Y chromosomes I wanted my sons to have Those eyes That face And those two stupendous well lets just say she was a goddess no matter where you lookedThe marriage was splendid and lasted four days paid for by her father a wealthy zamindar and also shakha pramukh of the Hindu Jagran SocietyThe wedding night was a surprise she came masked and wearing black vinyl tights carrying a red silk blindfold handcuffs and other vaguely paramilitary objects I laughingly indulged her when she ordered me to lie down tied me up blindfolded me and whipped me for half an hourLater sharing a romantic kulfi she explained that she had Googled the letters BDS after my name and understood that I liked being tied up disciplined and subdued I smiled and bit her arm lightly as a Bachelor of Dental Surgery mightThere was a loud crash downstairs as someone broke down the main door to the house I ran down in a panic and there she stood my goddess the queen of my dreams Though I could swear she hadnt been bald the last time Id seen her And shed not been wearing a saffron blanket as her only garb Her eyes shone with a strange intense lightLast night we destroyed three places of worship she said We can build Hindu temples there nowThank god youre here I said Im famished Boom And Im waiting for my loving wife to make me some yummy chana ghugniFirst lets get some basic rules straight she said I looked up into brave fearless eyes Ive changed my name Youll have to call me sadhvi nowI laughed and said Whatever my sweet Now tell me why youve hidden my shoes again And why all those guns and grenadesAll to be donated to our jawans in the army and our great athletes boojums she said What else would you expect from a girl whos extremely patriotic to India with a keen desire to increase Indias military and sports capabilities and is a compassionate extremistI couldnt argue with that Youre still my beloved Boom an expert in childrearing brave powerful and richNot Boom wont tell you again she said conjuring a whip out of nowhere Call me Sadhvi MahishaSeriouslyNever been more serious she said Your name has to change too Which selfrespecting Hindu would call himself Balmiki Kumar ReallyI really hoped shed take that chana ghugni more seriously nowFrom now on she said Well just call you BalzHere viewed from there C Y Gopinath in Bangkok throws unique light and shadows on Mumbai the city that raised him You can reach him at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomKeep scrolling to read more newsCatch up on all the latest Crime National International and Hatke news here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates MidDay is now on Telegram Click here to join our channel middayinfomedialtd and stay updated with the latest news