Ram Gopal Varma: I hate God for killing Sridevi and I hate her for dying

A snapshot of Ram Gopal Varma with the late actress Sridevi54yearold veteran actress Sridevi breathed her last on Saturday in Dubai due to cardiac arrest She was there to attend her nephew Mohit Marwahs wedding and extended her stay to do some shopping for her elder daughter Janhvi who is making her Bollywood debut with Dhadak say sources She was there with producerhusband Boney Kapoor and younger daughter Khushi Kapoor But its filmmaker Ram Gopal Varma who is really furious with this untimely death and has professed his hatred towards God for taking the beautiful soul In a Facebook post and a few posts on Twitter the Rangeela director has expressed his emotionsThis is what he wroteI HATE GOD FOR KILLING SRIDEVI AND I HATE SRIDEVI FOR DYINGI have a habit of constantly dreaming and waking up every once in a while in the night to check out my cell phone and I suddenly saw a message that Sridevi is no more I thought that either its a nightmare or a hoax and I went back to sleep An hour later I woke up to check and there were around 50 messages informing me of the same Back in the times when I was in engineering college in Vijayawada I happened to see her first Telugu film ldquopadaharella vayasurdquo I was awestruck with her Beauty and I walked out of the theatre in a daze thinking that she cannot be a real person and she has to be some fantasy form who somehow has taken a human shape Then I saw her various other films all of which constantly created a higher benchmark of both her talent and her beauty To me she looked like some being who has come from some other world in the outer space as a favour to bless us for a little while for all the good we might have done in this world She was like a creation of God which he does whenever he is in a very special mood as a very very special gift to mankind My journey to Sridevi started when I was preparing for my debut film Shiva I used to walk from Nagarjunas office in Chennai to a neighbouring street where Sridevi used to live and I used to just stand and watch Sridevis house from outside her gateI just couldnt believe that the goddess of beauty lives in that stupid looking house I say stupid because I believed that no manmade house deserved to house that beauty called SRIDEVI I used to so desperately hope to catch a glimpse of her as she went in or out of her house But sadly no such thing ever happenedAlso ReadSanjay Kapoor Sridevi Had No History Of Heart DiseaseAnd then after Shiva released and became a big hit a producer came to me and asked if I was interested in doing a film with Sridevi I said ldquoAre you mad or what I will die to just see her let alone make a film with herrdquoHe arranged a meeting with her and took me to meet her at that very same house where I used to stand outside the gate and stare At night we went and as luck would have it there was a power cut in her house so I was sitting in her living room in candlelight along with the producer waiting for the angel to appear and my heart was thumping like madHer mother told us she was busy packing as she was about to catch a flight to go to Mumbai As we were waiting every once in a while Sridevi was rapidly crossing the living room as she was moving from one room to another room in a rush to finish her packing even as she apologetically smiled at me for the delay Every time she was appearing and disappearing in a flash and the director in me started slow motioning her and running her backward and forward for my visual pleasureFinally she came and sat in the living room just said a mandatory few lines that she would very much like to work with me and then she left for Mumbai I continued talking to her mother with enormous respect and awe because she actually gave birth to Sridevi I went back to my place feeling like I was in the seventh heaven The way Sridevi sat in front of me in the candlelight got imprinted in my mind like an exquisite painting and with her image completely filling both my mind and my heart I started writing Kshana KshanamI wrote Kshana Kshanam with the one and only purpose so as to impress Sridevi Kshana Kshanam was intended by me as a love letter to her Throughout the making of Kshana KshanamI just couldnt take my eyes off her charm her beauty her personality and her demeanour was a new discovery for me She had an invisible wall around her and she does not let anyone cross that Behind that wall she maintains her dignity and her selfrespect and she never lets anyone inside Also during the course of working with her and observing her technique of acting I began to understand more and more as a director about the nuances of performances and characterizations because for me she formed the epitome of cinematic actingHer popularity and stardom had to be seen to be believed We were shooting for the climax in Nandyal for Kshana Kshanam and the whole town of Nandyal came to a standstill when they came to know that Sridevi was in town Banks Govt offices Schools Colleges everything in town closed as everyone wanted to see SrideviShe stayed in a travellers bungalow in Nandyal and at a little distance I was staying in another bungalow There used to be a crowd of at least 20000 people around her bungalow throughout the night just staring at it There were about 50 tough guys along with a 100 strong police force who used to continuously guard herWhen we were at location we used to know that Sridevi started from her bungalow to come to location because we used to see a column of dust travelling towards us from the distance The dust was due to the thousands of people running behind her car I have never seen more of a super star and now she just got extinguished Sridevi is the most beautiful and the most sensuous woman God ever created and I think he creates such exquisite pieces of art like her only once in a thousand years Though she is no longer there we her directors fortunately have her captured as a goddess of beauty in our cameras and our cinematic angel has now just become a divine angelI thank God for creating Sridevi and I thank Louis Lumiere for creating the movie camera for giving us an opportunity to contain her forever I still cant believe that she is no more and I am lying in bed writing about my memories of herI so hope I am still having a bad dream but I know I am notI hate SrideviI hate her for making me realise that she too is finally only just a human beingI hate that her heart too has to beat to liveI hate that she too has a heart which can just stop like anybody elsesI hate that I lived to see the messages informing me of her deathI hate God for killing herAnd I hate Sridevi for dyingI love you Sri wherever you arehellip and I will always love you Ram Gopal VarmaCatch up on all the latest entertainment news and gossip here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates